Body Language
Reading between the lines is a
cliché most people are familiar with when searching for hidden meanings. But if
we were to read between the lines of life, would we interpret it based on the
words we speak versus the actions we want to take? The science of body language
is defined as, “the conscious and unconscious movements and gestures humans
make through nonverbal communication (Body Language). Joe Navarro, a former FBI
agent turned body language expert explains, “Up to 80 percent of what we
communicate is nonverbal” (Navarro). Body language is a topic that has the
power to be misunderstood, misused and misguided. But is there a gender that is
more likely to interpret body language in a more clear, concise way? Men and
woman have different understandings of nonverbal communication. I believe the
interpretations women make can change their perception of men.
“Being “perceptive” means being able to
spot the contradictions between someone’s words and their body language”
(Pease). With a better understanding of nonverbal communication, women can,
“express emotions through facial expressions and their tone of voice.” Men tend
to hide behind their emotions with a “poker face” (Riggio). I believe females
tend to be more perceptive than males because of the term known as “women’s
intuition”. Women are born with more of an understanding of their surroundings with
the, “ability to pick up and decipher nonverbal signals as well as having an
accurate eye for small details” (Pease). There’s a difference when men and
women tell a lie. A man has a difficult time deceiving the woman in his life
and getting away with it. Women being more perceptive, they are able to pick up
on the small movements such as his hands through his hair or his shift in body
weight. Even if the movements are small,
women are more likely to understand them and discover the meaning behind his
movements. While women are keen on a man’s body language, men are not so much.
It is easier for a woman to pull wool over a man’s eyes without him realizing
(Pease).
Women often have a “hunch” or “gut feeling” they are being lied to. These
feelings can come from the knowledge of body language. With the understanding,
woman can see if a mans nonverbal movements do not line up with their spoken
words. Think of when you look at a person. Male or female, they could be
someone you have known for years or a person you recently met. If you
understand the fundamentals of body language, you can analyze and interpret
their movements and whether they coexist with their words. As a woman, having
the understanding of body language has changed the way I look at my movements
and other people’s gestures.
As a college student, I have witnessed and been involved in many meet-and-greets at school, social events or every day encounters with the opposite sex. The way the story goes, the man steps up to the plate and greets the woman. You have to wonder what their first impressions may be of each other and how far the attraction process could go (Pease). But do we also wonder who initiates the process and who calls the shots? Do we think about the different approaches males and females take when they possess the knowledge of body language?
As a college student, I have witnessed and been involved in many meet-and-greets at school, social events or every day encounters with the opposite sex. The way the story goes, the man steps up to the plate and greets the woman. You have to wonder what their first impressions may be of each other and how far the attraction process could go (Pease). But do we also wonder who initiates the process and who calls the shots? Do we think about the different approaches males and females take when they possess the knowledge of body language?
Body language is the key to first
impressions. Research shows that women, 90 percent of the time, initiate
interaction. I believe this is because they understand the process more than a
man does. Men are less likely to understand the subtle cues in a woman’s body
language. Women are much more headstrong in the nonverbal communication
courtship process. Her signals may be subtle, but are typically enough to see
whether he is worth pursuing (Pease).
According to the novel The
Definitive Book of Body Language, the ball is in the women’s court. Although
mister tall, dark and handsome may stride across the bar with confidence, he
was most likely sent the “green light” from the woman sitting on the other side
of the room. There are five states in the attraction process towards a woman:
eye contact, smiling, preening, talking and touching (Pease). If a man doesn’t
have the slightest clue of body language, the entire process would collapse. If
they’re able to communicate nonverbally and understand each other’s simple body
language, a meet-and-greet can develop into something spectacular.
In a study conducted at Harvard
University by psychologists, results and research showed women are much more
perceptive to body language than men. Short films were shown to a group of
adults with the volume on mute. The films were men and women communicating with
each other. After the films ended, participants were asked to describe what was
happening in the movies based on the expressions and movements they witnessed
while watching. The end result showed “women read the situation accurately 87
percent of the time, while the men scored only 42 percent accurate” (Pease).
On the other hand, men have the
opportunity to know just as much about body language as females do. In my own
life, people who have been successful in learning about nonverbal communication
were able to tell me more about myself than I knew based on romantic body
language. In fact, I was taught most of what I know about body language from a
man, John, who is a good friend. John had done some research on his own,
reading a few books and checking out some credible websites. He spent most of
the day observing my posture, eyes, face, and movement and was able to tell me
traits about myself I didn’t even know I was exuding. I had already been
perceptive of other people’s body language previous to my friendly lesson from
John. But, I learned from him some of the more rare known signs of body
language, which have helped me in my every day life since then. I was able to
read a few of the novels John owned and it really sparked my interest in body
language. Therefore, there can be an argument made that men can be just as
perceptive as women, or even more, if they take the time to learn and
understand the signs of body language.
In conclusion, the understanding of
body language can change our perception of others. Women tend to understand the
process and signs of body language for more than males do. There are many ways
for either gender to learn about the interpretations of body language. If a
person takes the initiative to learn more about nonverbal communication, their
conversations, situations and courtships could change for the better. If a man
doesn’t understand the basics of nonverbal communication as well as a woman
does, he could be missing out on Mrs. Right. After all, the best words spoken
are those hidden between the lines.
Works Cited
Body
Language. […] Body Language. Alan Chapman, 2009. Web. 19 Nov. 2012.
Navarro,
Joe, and Marvin Karlins. What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide To
Speed-Reading
People. New York, NY:
Collins Living, 2008. Print. 18 November 2012.
Pease,
Allan, and Barbara Pease. The Definitive Book of Body Language. New
York: Bantam
Books, 2006. Print. 18 November 2012.
Riggio,
Ronald E. "Women’s Intuition: Myth or Reality?" Psychology Today.
Sussex Publishers,
14 July 2011. Web. 11 Dec. 2012.
